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Hi, big boy. We certainly hope you’re… enjoying… tonight’s presentation of “Silicone Valley: The Swelling” starring Chester Harlton, Tunza Blart and the unforgettable Pindyul S. Bubes, here on the Playzoid Channel. And we’ll be back before the spaghetti can go al dente on you, but first a word from our favorite sponsors, the good people of Jean Splyce Motors:

long shot of bumper to bumper traffic, at a standstill; close-up of harried motorists honking horns and shaking fists. The voiceover says:

Karl Marx was wrong. The masses? Well, we won’t say the masses suck, but they certainly inhale deeply. And what’s the worst thing about the masses? Every one of them can afford a car, and every one of them is IN YOUR WAY. But we here at Jean Splyce Motors have the answer, for the discerning, for the elite, for the truly special: the Dimetrorachnizoid, or, as we like to call it… The Executive.

Tight shot of a handsome, tuxedoed man carefully putting on dark glasses as a Svelte Svedish Sveetie settles down next to him on fine leather seats. As the camera pulls back, a blindingly shiny clamshell cockpit closes over them. Cut to a scene of confusion and chaos as ordinary vehicles are literally catapulted end over end in a rolling wave of flames and smoke, and from behind them, out of the mayhem, stalks the glittering Executive, weapons blazing.

You no longer have to settle for a common conveyance. In fact, you no longer even have to sit in traffic with them. With the Executive, you do indeed own the road.

The comfort and stability of the mid-size Gator-Dimetrodon with the maneuverability and toughness of the Tarantulon. Only the Executive gives you the next generation in SUVs: Spider-based Unlikely Vehicles. The latest weapons technology, and the kind of styling folk won’t soon forget. The glistening chrome finish will pop their eyes, right before one of the eight pointy legs crushes their skull. And you?

Why, you’ll make the opera on time.

Medium shot in front of a concert hall. As traffic burns in the background against the neon lights of downtown, Our Hero tosses the keys to a startled valet who stares upward, stunned, as the Svelte Svedish Sveetie descends from the cockpit to the ground. Cue Wagner’s “Valkyries” and fade to black…

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